Chapter 10

I want you to listen to it. It’s a song I made with Kiroku and your friends’ image in mind.

…...!!

(It sounds completely different to the song I heard before… But, it touches my heart just as much… No, even more…)

This is how… I’m like… in Nanamegi’s mind…

Yeah. Your world is filled with so many sounds, so vivid it feels like it’ll overflow at any moment.

That’s what your world sounds like to me.

Nanamegi…

(I had no idea he understood, expanded, and accepted my personality… in this way…)

(But…)

…………

Ah, um, does it not… sound that good?

N-No, that’s not it…! I love it… a lot. Serious…ly.

It’s… something… else.

…Aah, you were going to remake the designs for the exhibit, right?

Mm…

Akuta and the others told me. I loved those designs too, though.

........

Nanamegi… How do you… let other people… listen to your songs? It seems… so easy…

Eh?

I can’t stop thinking that… I can’t do this. Even if Nanamegi and the others… told me that they liked it… The moment that… Producer-san reject…ed… it… My mind… went completely… blank.

If 999 people… told me that they liked… my art… but just one person… rejected it… it feels like… it’d hurt so much.

I can’t show… my work to other… people. It’s… scary.

………

Ha… Hahaha.

Why… are you… laughing…?

Ah no, sorry. I was just thinking that, even though you look so quiet, you’re actually a really greedy person.

Gre…edy…?

‘Cuz, it’s impossible for every single person in the world to accept you.

That’s… true, but…

I heard that Producer told you that you make your work with only your own enjoyment in mind. Do you think he was correct?

Y-Yeah…

Why?

Because… He’s someone with a lot more experience than me… He knows a lot, so I feel like… he has to be correct…

I dunno. Personally, I don’t expect people to enjoy something I didn’t enjoy creating.

…!

The reason that your okiagari doll resonated with me so much is because you put your heart into it, Kiroku.

(Interpretation, respect, and desires were put into it, too.)

That would be my answer to that question. I can make music because it’s something I enjoy.

I think that any work created that way will definitely reach someone out there.

But it’s… creepy…

I didn’t think it was creepy though? Did Producer tell you that?

N-No… He said that… he liked it but…

Then you should just accept that, right? I was also happy when you said that you loved my song.

………

I think you should make something that you enjoy making, but also make it something that aligns with Producer’s demands.

That’s too… difficult…

It’s difficult, yeah, but I’m sure you can do it. Because… Kiroku has a talent that no one else can imitate.

(Nanamegi… That’s how you… feel about me…?)

If you’re still feeling doubtful or feel like you’re lost, you can talk to me like this again.

That way we can call them all idiots that can’t understand anything in front of them, and continue to create things with anger and sadness in our hearts…

Wouldn’t that be fun, too?

Being angry… and sad… could be fun…?

(I thought being angry and sad were just… things that would paint the inside of my heart and drag the important feelings down with them…)

(I wonder if… mixing those feelings with my own impurities… is something that… could be fun.)

I… guess so…

(I guess it could be.)

(If I’m with Nanamegi and everyone else…)

(Together… with my friends too.)

Yeah, it can. ‘Cuz, we’re both geniuses. …Right?

Nanamegi…

Could you send… this song to me… as soon as possible?

My pencils… I need to… sharpen them…

Okay, master! I can get a dozen of them sharpened right away! I’m also keeping Nanaki-sensei’s demo song on an infinite ∞ loop for maximum output!

Kiroku, do you wanna eat dinner? You must be hungry by now…

Natsuyaki-san gave me some advice a bit ago. When you’re hyper focused like this, you can put a packet of nutritional jelly close to your mouth…

A technique taught directly by Tao-san: The No Looking & No breathing drinking technique!!

Wait, is everything here a rough draft…?

I’m not… done yet. I’m like… 80% there… but I have to finish all of these… otherwise, everything won’t be conveyed properly…

The sheer amount of work is impressive in itself.

So, how many rough drafts are you gonna draw?

…100.

ONE HUNDRED!?

…I’m trying to keep…the things I like to draw… mixed with what’s in my DNA… by arranging my pieces… and slowly adjusting as I go.

I’m trying to see… to what extent… I can show my individuality.

Just 3 rough designs… wasn’t enough. That’s what it was. I’m sure of it.

So you’re shutting them up with numbers. That’s pretty aggressive, Buddha Statue.

Kiroku… As I thought, you’re amazing.

(I’m a little jealous… No, I’m sure I am. As a fellow artist.)

I’m also going to brush up on my songs a bit more…!

(I’ll enjoy drawing these 100 pictures. For my own sake.)

I’ll draw… my world… that Nanamegi saw. I listened to it, I’ll take it, and pass it to someone else…

(Even if I’m rejected… Even if no one understands it this time…)

…This is enough, for now.